Self Harm, Depression, And Hyper Sensitivity

Self harm is deliberately hurting ones self with no suicidal intention. It may include: an eating disorder, cutting, burning, friction burns, or piercing. I have been through all of these things, and trust me, they are not pretty or fun.

Why do people self harm? Lots of reasons, it is different for everyone. Why do I? Well I started, because someone very close to me had cancer and died. Then I had to transfer middle schools, and I was pissed. It all went down hill from there. I started feeling so alone and sad. I was depressed. That made me so angry and everything irritated me. Everything just felt so damn wrong, so I stared drinking to try and numb the pain. That just made it worse. SO, one day after I had gotten in trouble at school and into a fight with my mom, I took a knife and cut my arm.

After that it became a sick habit. I cut my wrists, my stomach, my legs, and my ankles. It began to take over my life. I had to plan everything around my cutting. Wearing long selves to hide the scars, buying medical supplies, and hiding evidence of my self harm from my family became my main goals.

A year into my cutting, there were rumors started about me and my friend self harming, but we got through that. I even stopped cutting for awhile. But then I started doing friction burns and piercing my body. A another year later, my parents found out about my self harm. I thought they would send me to a mental institution. They did nothing.

Finally, this year, I got help, and well here I am, still self harming.

Depression. Depression sucks and was the stupid cause of all my self mutilation. Depression is feeling alone, scarred, sad, helpless, and sometimes suicidal. So many suffer from depression and is as subject worth knowing about. If you want to learn more about self harm, suicide, or depression, search to write love on her arms and just search one of these topics in youtube. There are some really good videos.

Anxiety is a relatively permanent state of worry and nervousness occurring in a variety of mental disorders, usually accompanied by compulsive behavior or attacks of panic. I DO have some compulsive behaviors but have not had a panic attack, yet.

And finally being hypersensitive could be described as being allergic to life. For the highly sensitive person (HSP) a seemingly ordinary day can be overwhelming. Even the most subtle of stimulants a person encounters on a daily basis can be over-stimulating. Energies associated with touch, noise, scent, light, etc. are often too quickly or deeply absorbed by the HSP. As a result, the HSP may become mentally confused, emotionally upset, and/or physically uncomfortable. Hypersensitivity is also associated with a heightened sense of awareness and intuition. This makes being a HSP or empath a two-way street.

I found this and it basically describes my experience with hyper sensitivity: To her... a touch is a blow, a sound is a noise, a misfortune is a tragedy, a joy is an ecstasy, a friend is a lover, a lover is a god, and failure is death.

So that is what I deal with everyday. I am not complaining, just informing.

Nadia