Sunday, January 23, 2011
Havent Si'ed the last couple of days. but i wont let the cut on my stomach heal. I have always had this thing about not letting wounds heal even when I wasn't a self harmer. i just dont like scaps so i dont let them form so it will scar over. sometime this process hurts more than the actual SI. which is why i think i can go a few days without cutting. the pain from the healing cut is enough to get by on. it kills. im layin on my stomach right now and having it pressed up against the sheets hurts like fuck. Jon still doesnt know. we were making out and he was sooooooo close to touching it and i like flinched. Oops. I meant to tell him, but i didnt know how.I am feeling so anxious right now. I want it to stop.
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I know what you're going through. I feel exactly the same. This woman I know, called June suggested I start doing this... so far so good... You're meant to do it for a month or something? I'm four days strong. If you ever want to talk, I'll always listen :) x
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Anna x