This is the post that was in fragments from like a week ago...

The ice cube method has saved me from SI, I swear. My PT (psycho therapist) told me about it. It was something I actually like her for.

You just hold an ice cube in your hand until it melts. I had to do some breathing and positive affirmations (I am a worth person, blah, blah, blah) afterwards, but it got me through the worst of it. That ice is amazing. It sounds so fucking stupid. But it has helped me and I need to stop this shit.

I am at my family’s camp right now and my cousin is pissing me off. He went to my old private school and he is making fun of me of me for not talking in our dumb ass math class. And he didn’t remember my dads name because my parents are divorced. Now ever one is thinking I am making a big deal of it. I am very close to my papa and I hate when people disrespect him in front of me.

I have a heart tat and an ice cube, so I should be okay and btw, my family thinks I am writing a love letter. Like I have anyone to write a letter to. Maybe JP, but I couldn’t, I would start crying. I feel like he is dead, but I just haven’t seen him since school got out.

BTW, JP is my old theology teacher. He is 37, engaged, Mexican, and probably the nicest/ funniest guy I have ever meet. And I am in love with him. It is wrong, I know. But I am crushing, hard. We never had an affair, but we had very close, special student/teacher relationship. H e wad always there for me this year and we had some wonderful times. More later, people are getting mad at me for texting so much. God I miss him, I need to see him...


NadiaInLove @>--